Write SFF

Dialogue

2010-03-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

Heavens, has it been a year since I last posted? Bad editor, no biscuit.

Dialogue is tricky for some people to write, and you need to approach it with as much attention to craft as you do any other aspect of fiction.

It can help to actually record (WITH PERMISSION!) a couple of friends talking, then transcribe it. Notice how each person has a distinctive style, and that spoken language does NOT usually come out like written language does. Sentences are incomplete, or run on, or sort of merge with other sentences. Each person also uses a distinctive vocabulary. There have been studies done about the ways in which certain kinds of verbal "stalling" techniques -- anything from a stutter to a series of "Ums" -- are used to control the flow of conversation (mostly to prevent somebody else from beginning to talk).

Then transcribe a bit of talking done by someone whose speech is polished and professional -- for instance, a politician during a question-and-answer session with the press, or a movie star on an interview show. Again, notice the techniques for controlling the conversation. Notice that the professional's spoken language is likely to be fairly similar to written language. Someone whose speech is transcribed and reported learns to avoid some of the styles common in ordinary speech.

And of course, consider how the dialogue you write will move the story along and reveal the personal traits of your speakers. Each speaker needs to present, during their dialogue, some piece of your overall puzzle. Perhaps Person A states some information as fact. Person B must either disagree in some way, or amplify the fact with further details, or their sentence does not add to the story. Dialogue can be interspersed with thoughts, but they should stay brief. If you decide to write dialogue as a series of questions and answers, don't dumb down your characters.

And finally, when you have your dialog written, read it out loud to yourself to see if it sounds too stilted, or if your vocabulary could be misinterpreted when heard. (Then again, a misinterpreted homonym could become a plot point. Example: San Francisco has a gathering place called "Le Central"; Herb Caen once reported that someone's office assistant sent the boss's guests off on a wild goose chase for the "Lace and Trowel".)

-- Rachel Holmen

Full sentences, please

2009-02-25T19:03:00.001-08:00

And commas. I would love to strangle the person who started the trend for displaying the phrase "Hello world" as a sample computer coding project. It should be "Hello, world!" Note that the phrase "Love, Dad" is not the same as "Love Dad."

Ahem. I digressed. Back to topic.

"Sentence fragment" is the term for a group of words, typically beginning with a capital letter and ending with a period, that lacks either a noun or a verb. The occasional use of a sentence fragment can add a staccato, emphatic note to your writing. But frequent use is a bit like shouting all the time, or else proves that you have not actually mastered (personed?) the language in which you write.

Examples:

He went on and on. And on.

I haven't died. Yet.

Living in central America, the constant expectation of mold and decay.

Jane stared at the tiny rose in his lapel. A deep purple rose.

The green awning, cracked in places from the sun, drooping from its supports.

Pop quiz: examples 3 and 5 are just illiterate, right? Right.

More comics

2009-02-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

A site about publishing: www.unshelved.com. -- Rachel Holmen

Comics? Mockups?

2008-10-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading (accurately, listening to the audio book of...) Karen Joy Fowler's novel WIT'S END. One of the characters, a novelist, always creates a dollhouse of each book. It certainly might be a useful method for anyone writing a book or play to create a physical mockup of their main locales. (For that matter, part of the book's charm is the way it evokes Santa Cruz, California.)

At Foolscap, I found a business card for the "weekly web comic" www.deerme.net. Comics are another way to tell a story. (And don't miss an old but fabulous book Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud (originally McLeod) -- see publisher's website.

-- Rachel Holmen

Story within a story -- forget it

2008-08-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I would read manuscripts at MZB's Fantasy Magazine, I would find myself drawing a pencilled arrow at the start of some paragraph, often 3 pages into the story. "Story starts here," I would add. Sometimes all that nice backstory you've worked so hard on, just doesn't belong at the beginning. Start by grabbing your reader's attention. Rarely does the "story within a story" format add anything -- only if one story really DOES illuminate the other should this format be kept.

-- Rachel Holmen

Foreshadowing

2007-07-25T18:05:00.001-07:00

I had been mulling a post about foreshadowing -- letting the reader know what's coming. It is often a rather clumsy way to heighten the tension in a story .... "John enjoyed his dinner, not knowing that disaster was waiting...."

Ho, hum.

But for some stories, the ending is known already -- familiar tales such as that of King Arthur and Guenevere. We read new novels on these themes partly to see how a new writer will interpret the old story, much as Shakespeare buffs compare different interpretations by various actors and directors.

And recently I listened to the audiobook version of "Brokeback Mountain". Thanks to its Oscar victory, I doubt there's any who doesn't have at least an inkling of the plot. But I was quite struck by the way the author begins with a skillful foreshadowing of the doom awaiting the characters. By the time the first paragraph is over, we know the story will be about the friendship between two men -- maybe even more than friendship. Since the tale might be unpleasant to some, they can shut the book, turn off the audiotape, right then, and avoid anything they might consider offensive. (And others may stop reading right after Ennis pees in the kitchen sink.) But for the rest of her readers, it simply sets the tone: this story is epic, and parts of it will be sad. Against this backdrop, the rest of the story, with its recounting of brief times spent in country high and beautiful, is highlighted and enlarged. Wow!

-- Rachel Holmen

Beginnings, Endings

2007-06-10T02:13:00.000-07:00

I've already spoken about the importance of a good beginning -- grab the reader with something interesting right away.

This week I've been listening to an audiobook of a Tony Hillerman novel, and I've been struck by the effective way he ENDS each chapter. Sometimes it's a sentence that's a bit of a cliffhanger, sometimes something different, but often it leaves you with a lingering thought to chew on before you begin the next chapter.

-- Rachel Holmen

The Prestige

2006-10-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night, I did a rare thing for me: I saw a film with friends. THE PRESTIGE is about the lifelong rivalry between two performers, and how their obsession with the rivalry wrecks their lives. The costuming seemed perfect, Nikolai Tesla was a minor character (a plus in my view), the acting was excellent (which is to say, you weren't particularly conscious of it), and the dilemma resonated long after I left the theater. I gather it's based on a Chris Priest story, yet it's hard to imagine it -- with its focus on illusion -- as anything but a film. But that's the wonderful conundrum -- every film starts with a script, and every script starts with an idea. In the end, it's the convincing idea that shapes the whole.

-- Rachel Holmen

Mulling over craft -- learning from stories that fail

2006-10-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

I think that some of my first awareness of the craft of writing came from reading a Heinlein story about a failed labor union strike. Heinlein had no sympathy for unions; I, on the other hand, am the daughter of a man who ran the first non-crooked election in an Arizona hod-carriers union during his twenties.

At any rate, I read the story with some shock as Heinlein belittled his union-member character. As you might expect, I found the story unbelievable. But even more, I had suddenly seen the bones behind the skin of a story for perhaps the first time. Heinlein's opinions were clearly visible in his portrayal of his characters, and I was led to think about the author's purpose for selecting this particular set of incidents as the setting for the story.

So even when you read stories that fail -- or PARTICULARLY then -- look for the bones, and look for the structure of the story, the premises the author establishes, the way certain language has failed to carry the story that the author intended.

(Mind, this approach won't work if the story is completely muddled. But the failed attempts of masters such as Heinlein can teach a lot.)

-- Rachel Holmen

Sad September

2006-10-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

The fantasy/science fiction world lost two noteworthy men this fall: Charles Grant, a publisher of fine-quality small press books, and -- far more painful to my heart, for although I admired Charles I must say I didn't feel I knew him -- Mike Ford, brilliant and funny, who never had major fame but wrote a lot of stuff I really liked. I never exactly had a crush on Mike, but that's sort of how I felt about him. He wasn't quite 50, but diabetics have a tendency not to last as long as we would like. The Nielsen-Haydens have some nice links on their blog to his work. Farewell, friend.

-- Rachel Holmen

In Media Res

2006-10-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

(At least that's how I think you spell it.) It means, begin the story in the middle, at some really interesting point in the action. Then, once you have the reader hooked, fill in some of the background. Then move on to the story's dramatic -- or inevitable -- or wrenching -- or heartwarming -- conclusion.

It's an old technique, but tried and true.

Examine some of your favorite tales. Where does the story begin? When you find yourself relating a bit of the story to someone else, WHERE in the time sequence is the bit you relate?

-- Rachel Holmen

Writer? or Author?

2006-07-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

Mickey Spillane died yesterday; his wife commented to the obit writers who phoned that he had always claimed to be a writer, not an author? The difference, in his eyes? A writer creates books that sell.

-- Rachel Holmen

Read the good writers, listen to them speak if you can

2006-03-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

Below are some links to information about Octavia Butler. She died unexpectedly last weekend, and I am very sad. I admired her work; and I had been fortunate enough to meet her a few times, but I was always in awe of her tremendous dignity.

Delany-Butler conversation, 1998

MZBFM interview, 1999, which Marion and I commissioned since we both had such respect for her work (Thank you, Wayback Machine.)

2000, from Strange Horizons
This article has a few good links to the unofficial Octavia Butler website and a bibliography with comments.

2000 interview in Locus

Nice pic by Beth Gwinn:

Commentary from Washington Post, Jamal Simmons' column

obituary at the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America website -- contains link to Seattle newspaper obituary

March 1, 2006: New York Times

Comment from Joe Haldeman

Nothing I can say right now sounds anything except stupid. So all I will say is: read her books. Read other good books recommended to you by readers you respect. If you aspire to craftsmanship as a writer, seek out the writers you like and listen to them speak, at science fiction conventions and other venues.

-- Rachel Holmen

Read your dialog (at least) out loud

2005-11-20T21:43:00.000-08:00

Your writing will sound more natural if you practice reading it out loud, preferably with an audience. You'll quickly catch on to what sounds too stuffy, to which sentences are too convoluted for the listener to follow.

This is especially important for dialog. If someone's going to say it, it must sound the way someone WOULD say it. You can get away with certain words in written speech which are hard to use clearly in spoken speech. But in general, write it the way you'd say it.

-- Rachel Holmen

It doesn't matter if a story IS true; it must SEEM true

2005-09-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

Occasionally during my days at MZB's we would reject a story and get back a letter complaining, "But the story is true!"

Marion's rejoinder was always that it mattered not a whit if the story WAS true, it had to SEEM true to a reader.

This requires walking a fine line between oblivion and defensiveness. Picking a believable tone is important; there's no need to sound stuffy and academic, but your narrator must appear to be credible (or if not, this must be deliberate -- for instance you can create a pretty interesting story if you tell the same incident from three points of view, two of whom are the same narrator under different circumstances; in one of the circumstances, the narrator must appear to be explaining why he has lied in the other circumstance).

If your story is flat-out fantasy, you need to put in enough plausible details to bolster the illusion so that your reader can suspend disbelief enough to enjoy your tale.

-- Rachel Holmen

Providing Background

2005-07-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

All fiction needs to convey some information about the background of the story. What's the world like? Politically, socially, physically? Yet no reader wants to wade through a lot of information to follow the story. One of the most important skills in the craft of writing is conveying information subtly, in small, easily understood pieces. Too many facts at once, and you are guilty of creating an "expository lump". So rather than saying "Borzania was 12.5 miles wide (measured east to west), 17.37 miles from north to south, and contains two major lakes, Chuvo and Gandar. The country is ruled by a hereditary monarchy, and the current king is named Fletchit," you might have two characters discussing how long it would take to travel to some point in the next kingdom (which provides an opportunity to discuss the size of THIS one, while also conveying something about its rulership); they can debate how to get across one of the lakes; and so on. Remember the adage, "Show, Don't Tell" as well.

--Rachel Holmen

And WHEN?

2005-06-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Most stories are told in the past tense: I remember when. But it's consdered very modern in some circles to put everything into the present tense: I'm walking along Main, and I see a spaceship at the next corner. You could even, I suppose, write the story in the future tense: And then you will walk along Main, and you will see the spaceship. But that seems as much PREscriptive as it does DEscriptive.

Another decision is the time setting for your story -- again, one is pretty much limited to past, present, and future. Past is nice because you can romanticize it, justify all your research. Present seems easy, but stories set in the present have a bad habit of becoming dated as time passes, and with hindsight come questions such as, "What do you mean, you didn't NOTICE the political implications of the women's movement?" Some writers take to science fiction because they can invent any world they want, probable or improbable, but it's hard not to base things on the NOW and then you might as well plan to exaggerate some aspects to make a point. Writers who have not been regular readers of the sf genre can also make howlers of mistakes by forgetting some of the basics of science.

-- Rachel Holmen

Who's telling this story?

2005-06-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

How do you want to tell your story? Do you want events to unfold as described by some neutral observer (usually called "the omniscient narrator"), using the third person? This is the style used for newspaper articles and most academic writing. "John Smith, a tall brown-haired man, was walking to work when he noticed the spaceship landing at the next intersection. The light was still green."

Or do you want to tell the story from John's point of view: a first-person narrative? "I'm John. I walk to work every morning -- keeps my cardiologist happy. Tuesday I was shocked to notice a spaceship landing at the intersection of Grant and Stockton."

More rarely, a story is written in the second person. "You remember, darling, how we used to walk to work? And the day you saw the spaceship landing? You thought the markings seemed Russian, but of course they were Phringlant."

A related issue is whose activities you follow in the story. Do you report only on what John does? Or do you follow Mary as well, and George, and Sam, and the Phringlants? A classic bestseller such as Alex Haley's HOTEL follows a different person each chapter for a while, then brings characters together in some chapters for interaction that advances the plot.

Short stories generally only follow one person, and are typically written in the third person. But you add texture to longer works when you trace the actions of various characters. (And sometimes you can even get away with telling an entire story from a differing point of view, and sell it as a stand-alone novel. Consider Orson Scott Card's ENDER'S GAME and ENDER'S SHADOW.)

-- Rachel Holmen

Don't make the magic too convenient

2005-04-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

The essence of fantasy is some magical element. But don't let the magic be too trivial, too convenient. Every action of daily life should NOT be magical: magical warm rooms, magically heated food, no illness, no disagreements with anyone. In order for the reader to feel engaged with your characters, they must have obstacles to overcome, and a worthwhile goal to attain. Omitting these elements leads to a rather boring story. Magic should have a price -- a common cost is the slow slide to selfishness and evil; or the user might be exhausted for days after casting a spell; or the user might have to abstain from some food or drink or activity in order to wield power. (Often the magic user must be celibate; personally, I feel this ties in too well to our already-restrictive culture. But how about a wizard who can't drink coffee if he wants to succeed? Now some folks might find THAT a real sacrifice.)

[revised slightly on April 12 -- Rachel Holmen]

Evoke the senses

2005-03-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

Draw your reader into your story by making references to touch, smell, taste, temperature, and other sensations. I just finished an audiobook (Justice Hall by King) where the author vividly describes the character standing in a cold room next to a warm fireplace, turning this way and that to warm herself. Much better than simply stating, "the room was cold." -- Rachel Holmen

Poul Anderson's approach to science fiction

2005-03-22T22:41:00.000-08:00

I'm told that Poul Anderson's approach to writing science fiction was to ask himself, "Suppose we were wrong?" (Presumably he asked this question about established scientific principles, then set about devising an alternate explanation -- and then based his story on that.) -- Rachel Holmen

Odd facts can liven a story

2005-03-19T13:15:00.000-08:00

What are the three oddest facts that you know? What whole fields of knowledge are familiar to you? A solid factual background makes fiction interesting, and adds a foundation of believability. -- Rachel Holmen

Beyond dragons

2005-03-19T12:17:00.000-08:00

If you want to have a fantasy animal in your story, consider the whole pantheon of such creatures. Dragons fascinate us with their power and intelligence, but consider unicorns, selkies, griffins. Study the folklores of other cultures to learn about their magical creatures. (There's a local bank named after the Nara, and the logo shows a bird with three legs. Now I want to know: what's a Nara?) Baba Yaga, a Russian witch, was famous for her house on bird legs; so if you want to create a magical animal, it doesn't even need to be a whole animal -- use parts of one. -- Rachel Holmen

Appropriate names

2005-03-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

Give your characters appropriate names. If you are striving for the feel of a particular era, do some research into names, not just fashion and food, housing and transportation. -- Rachel Holmen

Don't preach. Yet if you have no agenda, you have no story.

2005-03-13T20:47:00.000-08:00

You can't hit readers over the head with your views; most of them won't stand for it. Yet you -- and by extension, your characters -- must care passionately about something or else the story won't matter to anyone. I guess this is a variant of the old adage, "Show, don't tell." Show the reader that your characters are passionate about something, rather than saying, "Meredith thought that music was more important than anything." -- Rachel Holmen

Simple definitions

2005-03-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

It's a science fiction story if it uses new technology. It's a fantasy if the characters ride horses. It's horror if the main character, through no fault of his/her own, is punished. It's boring if all the characters are unlikeable. -- Rachel Holmen

Do you have too many characters?

2005-03-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

Classic short stories tend to have only two or three characters in them. More are too difficult for the reader to distinguish. Use "character compression" -- if you need a character who is the hero's brother, and you need a character who's a painter, the hero's brother had better be a painter. If a character merely walks onto the scene briefly, furthers an action for a major character, and then leaves -- DO NOT GIVE THIS CHARACTER A NAME. Merely mention the character by job title, or function, or some other brief means. Otherwise you distract the reader needlessly. -- Rachel Holmen

Exercise: Write Longhand

2005-03-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

I discovered a while back, while I was using pen and ink to write notes while I was on a plane (and where I particularly wanted to record my thoughts during takeoff and landing, when you're not allowed to have even a Palm Pilot in use), that I write somewhat differently when I can't type. During high school, I taught myself to write drafts on a typewriter, so when computers came along I fit right in. But handwriting is a wider window to emotion, even as it enforces brevity just because one cannot possible write as fast as thought without a keyboard.

Secondly, try to dictate a story into a recorder. Again, you'll discover yet ANOTHER small variant in your personal style. (For this exercise, I suggest a standard cassette recorder or see if your MP3 player makes recordings. I specifically advise AGAINST using a "talk to your computer" program such as Dragon Dictate or ViaVoice.) If possible, tell the story to someone else who is present in the same room or at least at the end of a phone line. You may discover you are clearer, more expressive, with a direct audience.

There are four kinds of aphasia: understanding speech; speaking; understanding the written word; and writing. So it stands to reason that there are different parts of the brain which handle these closely-related but not identical functions. -- Rachel Holmen

Search for commonly-mistyped words

2005-03-13T20:25:00.000-08:00

Search for "form" and "from", for "you" and "your" and "you're". I'm sure I'll think of some others. Remember that there's a single letter difference between "win" and "wind", "whiny" and "whinny". As we say in the trade, porfreed carefilly. -- Rachel Holmen

Exercise: chop it up, use a database

2005-03-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

Take the disk version of your file. Save it to a new name -- perhaps "EXERDATA.TXT" -- as a plain text file. Close the original story and open EXERDATA.TXT. Use a search-and-replace routine to put a hard return after every word (or, if there are some names that are phrases, such as "Arthur Rex" or "Queen of the Sky", leave these phrases together and put a return after each). Save the file. Create an alphabetical list of the words you've used -- you can either sort the file from DOS (instructions later), or load them into a spreadsheet or database program and perform a sort there. If you want to use the DOS method: run command.com, and change to the directory where the file is located. Enter this command:

type EXERDATA.TXT | sort > EXERSORT.TXT

Exit from DOS, and open the file EXERSORT.TXT. Interesting things will be revealed, such as the six different ways you spelled "Deirdre". You will realize how limited, or grandiose, is the story's vocabulary. You will see every single character's name, every place name. You will note how many times you have started sentences with the word "And".

-- Rachel Holmen

Exercise: Look hard at your opening sentence

2005-03-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

Does it immediately grab your attention?

Exercise: Rewrite a "Gunsmoke" plot from an old radio show

2005-03-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

See "radiolovers.com". Listen to a Gunsmoke episode. Rewrite it as a fantasy or as science fiction. -- Rachel Holmen

Exercise: Record moments that are emotionally intense

2005-03-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

I keep an informal log where I list emotionally-intense moments. Maybe some day I'll hang some of them together into a plot. -- Rachel Holmen

Exercise: Read a collection

2005-03-13T18:47:00.000-08:00

Read collections* by other authors in the field. Read one author's novels in chronological order by copyright date. You'll develop a sense of how the author is growing, and also see patterns. For instance, Tim Powers' novels almost always make a reference to the (non-existent) poet Ashbless. You'll notice plot devices, dialog styles, and other things which will make you more conscious about the craft of writing. -- Rachel Holmen

*an anthology is a group of short stories by different authors. A collection is a group by a single author.

A Blog About Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy

2005-03-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome! -- Rachel Holmen